Before happily ever after

We all want happily every after. Don't lie lar! If we have our way and we are not jaded or cynical, we would admit we do want happily ever after. You know what? Happily ever after exists. Only not in this world.

Today’s message started from John 16:33b. Jesus said:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But that heart! I have overcome the world.” New International Version.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” New Living Translation.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” New King James.

I use three translations here because together they capture the meaning more comprehensively.

Trouble isn’t just trials; it is also sorrow. Taking heart isn’t just being strong; it is also rejoicing that we know the victory is already won.

Visiting pastor, Rob Yanok of Faith Point Church in Tennessee gave the message. His says everyday when his feet hit the floor he is excited about living out his calling – to inspire hope and to build faith. What a great calling.

Living out my calling. I don't always wake up glad or even want to wake up at all. How will I handle the tough times I will face? I hope that I would live out my calling all the more in those times. My response and reaction should be that of peace, the peace that transcends all understanding, even my own. So that I would reflect his grace and glory. (Stop reading now and please say a prayer for me that I will!!!!!)

2006 had been a really tough year. Sure, I was better off materially. But it was a year filled with loss, confusion and discovery (this isn’t always positive). I couldn’t wait for it to be over and to usher in a new year. With hopes, a "better" year.

My church in Singapore, Trinity Christian Centre prophesied that it would be a new season for the church and its members. It’s a season favour, fulfillment and multiplication. The latter will be better than the former.

So far, 2007 had been better. I know I am being taken on a journey of faith and because of that I also feel a sense of trepidation.

Pastor Yanok, I quote: Faith causes the trials. But faith also overcomes them.

And so, as I begin to read the Book of Job, and hear this message of trials and living out my calling, I am wondering about what when those times come.

Pastor Chris of DUMC said something I will always remember and have repeated before: We have not even given to the point of sacrifice. We have not indeed.

Jesus gave his life. He was born to die. In a very cynical perspective: so are we. The only difference that made all the difference is that He came to die FOR US.

I wondered at which point in His life did Jesus realize that. When he was three? Four? When he stayed back to debate with the teachers at the temple when his earthly parents left for home? As he drew nearer to 30 and knew it was the start of His ministry, was he excited? Three short years and the world is changed by His life and His death and resurrection. At 32 going on 33, did each step He took grow heavier? He knew what it was like to carry a burden because he carried the sins of world from eternity to eternity on His shoulders.

Pastor Yanok ended with the very popular Psalm 23.

V4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
V5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
V6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.

He said people love the ending of this Psalm - I do! We want to be victorious. We want prosperity that overfloweth. We want goodness and mercy all the days of our lives. And all these are rightfully ours.

But verse 4 doth come before verses 5 and 6.

Nevertheless, be of good cheer for He has overcome the world and He abides in me. AMEN.

p/s I am serious about that prayer bit!

Heartlander

That's me. Har har.

Singaporeans call themselves heartlanders, those who live in HDBs in areas that are not in the city or coastal. It is safe to say that HBDs are great living hubs because they call come with markets, old folks' corners, community centres, clinics, police stations, post office, and most importantly, the MRT.

From living in a full facility condo by the beach and taking the bus to work, I now live in a HDB in the "heartland" and take the MRT to work. It's not bad. Our mini house is pretty large and the area, Kembangan, is very nice. We are the only posh HDBs surrounded by link houses. I take the MRT to work and that's the part I dislike. I miss my buses.

I miss reading my Bible on the bus cos I get to sit going and coming back. On the MRT I never get a seat on either ways. It's even worse on days I bring my work laptop home and back to work.

I miss the full condo facilities. I miss Parkway Parade and the convenient grocery shopping.

Am still getting used to being a heartlander... I compensate that by decorating my relatively large bathroom that comes with dark green tiles (which I try to hide with Ikea floor mats- our cleaner who comes every fortnight says my salle de bain is very pretty).

Place mats and their places in the world

If doormat is used to describe a person who is easily pushed around and seemingly contribute zilch to what is of value to this world, then place mats should given an even lower standing.

I still could not figure out how are place mats more useful than doormats (these guys are indeed very useful!).

I mean, do people really need to have place mats to know where to sit? Don't the chairs do a good job at that? So what's the point of using place mats when you have no guests to impress? If you think you only need to wipe the place mat and not the table after using it, think again!

So place mats, I think, serves only a decorative purpose. Look pretty and thereby making the dining table and the dining area look prettier, too. (This implies that ugly place mats would truly be in useless existence).

Now that I have established the role of place mats in my universe, I would join the rest of the population who use them, except I would know why I use them.

Phenomenon

Joyce and I were working late last evening. NOBODY else was around and something strange happened. (Another scary movie in the making??)

Joyce: Nicole... do you feel the shaking?
Me: Yes...
Joyce: What is that?
Me: Er....actually it is swaying now! WE are swaying!
Unison: Earthquake!!!!!!!

It was swaying pretty badly and we were only on the 11th floor. I felt like I was in an aquarium (metaphorically speaking since I have never actually be inside an aquarium). We could see the office plants with long branches swaying with us.

It was the Indian Ocean- off Bengkulu, Sumatra, earthquake. It happened about six-ish pm but we only felt it at seven-ish. Joyce and I decided to go home and work from there (that's why they give you laptops and VPN!!!).

Last year I was working on the 24th floor and felt nothing. The first time I felt an earthquake was in New Zealand, January 1994. It lasted five seconds. My foster parents and I were watching TV and the whole world (it seemed) shook and we were almost shaken off our seats. Apparently it was not too unusual for them.

Am glad my Indonesian colleagues are ok but they told me there are still tremors right now and they are leaving the office.

Irrational fears

I could be silly but I think I am not wrong. I have weird fears and I scare myself thinking of what if they come true.

Like for example, I fear turning blind. I run the risk of repeating this silly but fearful episode.

Last year I was in Sri Lanka for a house-building project with Habitat. Josie and I shared a room and a double bed in the only motel (us 13 people were the only guests, too) in this remote village at the foothills of the mountains.

Sounds like the beginnings of a scary movie??

So one night the air-conditioning didn’t work and it got warm. I woke up. (Deng deng deng deng….)

It was pitch black. The only time I’ve been in a place so dark and devoid of light completely was in Gua Tempurung, when our guide made us switch off all our torchlights.

Back to my story: I blinked. And blinked again. I moved my hands in front of my face. NOTHING. You cannot even imagine what it is like until you experience it for yourself.

I wasn’t thinking about ghosts. I was thinking that I turned blind.

In unison now: WHAT?? You silly girl!

See, it was my fear exposing itself. I began to want to cry and thought about how I would live my life as a blind person never to see again.

Then Josie stirred and I could feel her sit up.

“Josie…”
“Ya?”
“I can’t see” I my mind I was thinking of how she would need to wake everyone up and get me to the hospital to check if I had really turned blind.

“Ya, the lights all over the village went off. I heard a loud trip earlier.”

“OH.”

Oh, indeed. Irrational fear? Could anyone go to bed perfectly normal and turn blind the when she wakes up?

I have another irrational fear. That I would be paralyzed and have to lie in bed all my life having only my irrational mind as company (can you imagine me having menopause???).

Why am I thinking about all these now?

Because I don’t know how I hurt my neck and now I can only sit up straight as a pole, or lie down as flat as the horizon.

Irrational fear…?

What's been happening

There were many little snippets I wanted to post and tell you guys about but it had been an overwhelmingly busy week.

I wanted to say that working and traveling at the same time (having only been a leisure traveller) is no fun. I only saw the rooftops of Jakarta from my hotel and office; and the only thing I got in Bangkok was a 45 minute shoulder massage in Suvarbumi International Airport (which made Joyce and I almost miss for our flight back to SG - they really should have more travellators).

I wanted to say that there was a crisis from one of the interviews I arranged: the paper misquoted one of our country CEOs and we are still managing it.

I wanted to say that the incident made me gain new respects for my boss and this global conglomerate I work for.

I wanted to say that I am utterly tired.

I wanted to say that there is one upcoming interview with a very prominent international newspaper and my regional CEO is not comfortable with it, which makes me uncomfortable, but that my boss is rather cool about the whole thing. My boss is rather amazing.

I wanted to say I have been keeping up with my Danielic fast and eating vegetarian had not made me sallow or wither. In fact, my skin is clearing up. I am still tempted to eat meat but I guess this is what fasting is also about- overcoming temptations. I am supporting DUMC in prayer in that the move to Dream Centre won't just be a move for the church but it will be a multiplication- that the halls will be filled to the brim with new salvatioins and we would need four services all over again!!

I now want to say that I am moving into my new home in an hour or so. Please pray Aileen and I would get a third person to take up the third room. Please pray this home will be God's vessel of blessing not just for us but for His Kingdom.

I won't have Internet connection at home for a while (hopefully Singtel will be a lot faster than Telekom, and will also set up wireless for us) and I will be traveling again and won't be staying put until the second week of Sept.

Catch ya later, alligator.

vegetarian pains

I'm following the fasting and praying that is going on in DUMC although it would have to be my own version. Working at this late hour (1:16 am), I doubt I can wake up at 5:30 anymore.

So I've decided to fast meat (it's a Danielic fast! Check out the book of Daniel).

It's not easy because I am 100% omnivorous. I like meat and vege equally and also prefer to have them in equal portions in my meals.

I've also discovered it's quite a pain being vegetarian because I keep having to ask the food sellers if some dish has meat or not. Today I asked the teppanyaki chef to remove this and that from my rice. He must have thought me a pain. I am beginning to think it is harder than not eating at all. But I get depressed if I don't eat.

Let's see how well I do until Sept 2 in view that I would be (1) moving to our new apartment and (2) traveling almost non-stop in the next two weeks and (3) will be working late nights.

(1) - Yay!!! We found a three bedroom HDB maisonette (two floors) that is very spacious and breezy and clean and settled on it immediately. Aileen is taking the master bedroom and I the second room. The common toilet has GREEN floor tiles!!! I would need to find ingenious ways to cover that up. We need a third person to take up the third room which is much better furnished than mine cos it is more expensive. It has a double bed, vanity, shelves, wardrobe, TV and airconditioned. Know anyone who might be interested?

(2) Ironic that, just when I decided I have enough of traveling...

back to work...