Over 6 billion and counting and I get the best

Some of you would have heard me said this was a really tough year. It really has been. But I did something premature just now. I started to look back into the year and commenced on my reflection of the year (almost) just past.

It has not been all that bad. And it is because of the unexpected friendships I made, be some only for a short time. Some I still do not know if they would last. But I have stopped feeling sad ahead of time.

Saphie who delights me just by being.

Ping who turned out to be a lasting friend.

Stephen who showed me that simplicity is beauty. And captured my heart for that little while by being him- sweet and transparent.

YangYang who looks so much like Matt and whom I sat next to during lunch at CFA2005. Who got me back in touch with Qiwen.

Moto, who so unexpectedly became a friend from a working relationship. Who introduced me to the House of Tea Kings and shared interesting things about Japan and Japanese culture with me. I am waiting to use "wakarimasen" back at him.

And a new friend in DUMC. Who appeared outside of Hainan Station one morning, when I was escaping the stress of work. Who encouraged me in my perception of my cellgroup. Who with I managed to finish three days of fasting and praying (except the middle day when we had pasar malam at Mont Kiara). Whose fervour for God rubbed off on me. So that I now have committed to teaching at Kg Cempaka- committing to a ministry. And I have purposefully not want to commit to anything so I can leave whenever.

And then there are David, Janice and Shanice. Without whom I would not have lasted this far in FH and would not be able to think of staying on.

Thank you, God, for the wonderful people you send my way.

staying is not an option

Ping was telling me I really should move to UK.

She goes for a holiday three to four times a year!!! I'm like .... w-w-h-a--a-t??

"And we get one month of paid summer holiday. You get a measly two weeks a year".

She has a BIG point there. And she bought her two houses in Penang for cash from earning pounds. And I am trying to make ends meet with that little 800sq ft minute apartment I carry a loan for.

I don't know where to go.

Over the last weekend in Singapore, I went rollerblading with Josie and friends at the East Coast Park. I fell on my bum, but I still like Singapore. I like it more each time I go there. [So shoot me] [And I can go to heaven immediately but make sure you kill me]

Qiwen lives in Bayshore Park, which overlooks the Park, coastline and the sea! Simon says what's so nice about Singapore coastline? as it is dotted with liners? I don't care. I like the sea, the beach, the coastline, liners and all.

I laid down on my bed after long sessions over the phone. Could I just stay here and not go anywhere? I believe the answer is No. I will always wonder what it would be like to work in another country. I will, at 50, look back and regret not leaving and just taking the risk.

Last week, at Church of Our Saviour in Queenstown, the speaker told of a survey done with people 90 and above. The question was asked what they would have done differently. There were four most frequent answers and one was them was that they would have taken more risks.

I remember the greatest reason why I was so happy in London was because I was solely and completely dependent on God. And He did not fail me. He was faithful. He gave me all I needed. I arrived at London practically knowing nobody. I remember my heart trembling everyday I woke up for the first two weeks. I remember praying "God you go ahead and I will take those steps after you", everynight. And every morning, literally, I would thank Him for every step I take in the streets of London.

But I don't want to be selfish. Am I pursuing a path of selfish ambition? (more about ambition in the next blog).

Pastor Daniel in his message this morning said that "I" is too small a vision. Too small for living. And I TOTALLY agree!!!! Live cannot just be about me! It would be too meaningless. Jesus didn't die just for me.

Would leaving Malaysia be a selfish move? Because I want to?

Josie says I should be happy (I must qualify here that I am NOT unhappy). I said happiness was never promised to us. Our goal in live cannot be the pursuit of happiness. She says an abundant life must consist of happiness.

I shared a recent episode with Ching, and in her reply she says she is glad that I have this joy from the abundant life God has in store for me.

When two persons say the same things in a short span of a week, I tend to pay attention to the message.

Earlier this year, my focus was UK and UK alone. That was before mom's surgery. Afterwards, I just thought about grandma and grandpa. And Singapore seems so much closer to home....

The braces come off next August. I will cross that bridge then.

Little people I love

"Jia jia Nicole!!!"

Thats was the LOVELIEST sound I heard in the longest time!!!!!! :) [feeling all nice and warm]

It was Saphie calling from Buckingham (not the palace), UK. The most beautiful and intelligent and darling six year old I know from Pulau Redang on magical weekend in August this year.

The darling little princess is all well from her chicken pox and bout of "bugs" as her mom called it, and will be back in school tomorrow. [still feeling all nice and warm]

Amazing what adorable little kids can do to you.

I called Choo soon after putting down the phone with Ping (Saphie's mom) and gushed about Saphie. She in turn told me of another most memorable and funny episode, this time with the cutest and most lovable five year old boy called Jordan Ming-yun Rohan Dass.

Jordan called to Choo this morning after service. She stooped near him and he said, "I have new briefs" and promptly showed them off! "They are Power Rangers," proclaimed the proud owner.

Lovely lovely kids!!

Office Goss- Live reporting

So apparently, according to Joyce’s collection of old wives’ tale, if you have a mole on the palm of you right hand, you would have money streaming in.

If you have a mole on the sole of your right feet you will rise to have many people under your supervision.

And if you have a mole on your left breast, you will marry very rich.

So the whole office is checking for moles on their breasts. David claims he has no breast. Note to MEN: you have breasts. They just don’t look like ours. Unless of course, you are 100kg or heavier in weight.

And I have proven Joyce’s old wives wrong on the first two counts.

All these when there is a young chap in my boss’ office being interviewed for a job and the door is left open. I am wondering which is more interesting- your possible future colleagues talking about breasts and moles, or your potential boss talking about writing news releases.

(all these actually took place yesterday)

hmmm...mmmm..mmm...m...(humming)

I like old songs. The happy ones.

I do wonder what it is like to live in the 60s. Liberation. Discovery. Exuberance. The feeling that things can only get better.

Not a life of my own (in scribbles)

That's the name of Lyd's blog. I really enjoy reading it. http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=peasunerf

Nicolaephoria. I think I think too much. I think I don't have short-attention-span as badly as some people my generation. But I think I have the commitment phobia worse than most.

If I didn't think of staying at this job "only for one year", I wouldn't have come to the point of thinking "maybe I'll stay a little bit more" (but just a little bit more and I'll see).

I have a dilemma.

I really want to go to Sri Lanka to re-build homes for tsunami victims with Habitat for Humanity. I am not worried about raising funds (I have very generous friends who would want to help the unfortunate, right?) but I am perplexed by the change of dates. Josie said it would be the first two weeks of Jan. But now it is on the week of Chinese New Year.

Other than when living overseas, I never missed CNY in Ipoh at my grandparents'. And neither has ANYONE else (unless one is female and married and has to go back to one's husband's family reunion first, which means only my aunt since none my generation is married, but even that doesn't happen because she boycotts her husband's family and my two cousins rejoice at not having to go back to their tyrant grandmother on their dad's side).

I tried not going back to my granddad's dinner only to be "convinced" otherwise. I would hate to set a precedence and augment the perception of snobbyness (mine).

But I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to go to Sri Lanka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY!!! And I have not done anything I really, really, really, really, really, really, really would like to do for a v-e-r-y long time :(

Should I take a poll? Send me an email: nicole.yeong@gmail.com

No, I am not prepared to open my blog for comments.

Real relief, real love for Pakistan

This is an update from my friend Ben, sent to some of us who support (either in prayer or monetary contribution) the work his organisation does in Pakistan. It is from the horse's mouth about the relief work that is going on there.

Big Picture:
The UN has become more and more desperate in their appeals to major international donors- who are largely not responding.
And on the ground there are clearly many, many locations that have received little (a packet of biscuits each) or no aid.

But for the people?
One woman our team told us about is about 80 years old. She now has 12 grand children to look after- their parents were both killed. Half of them she sent to other relatives in a city and is looking after the older ones herself. She’s been living of the generosity of other hard pressed villagers. Ouch.

Another man was in the field when the quake struck and he heard his son start shouting for his help from the house. He tried to run over the shaking ground to his son but before he got there, the house collapsed and the shouting was no more. He dug out the boy’s body and then went to help do the same in other parts of the village. Argh.

Many people from higher up in the mountains, and places like Balakot (which was almost completely flattened) are migrating down to tent cities and make shift camps in the broader valleys near Abbotabad. With compassion fatigue in operation here in the UK it is sometimes hard to remember that they are traumatised and often terrified for the future. Again, not much aid reaches many of these- we have been able to help many without even going deeply into the mountains.

The country
The newspapers from that country waver between gratitude that some help has come and venom at their leaders for incompetence and corruption. It appears that the days of repentance were short lived for many- and there is now money to be made as the millions- not nearly enough millions according to the UN- but millions anyway, start to flow through the government- ie a good deal of it goes into pockets not the mountains.
Quite tragic.
Well, more something to be angry about.

So in the midst of all this, our appeal (which started out as a single PDF file created late at night in our kitchen, and emailed to friends) has something very appealing indeed- absolute transparency and accountability, almost no admin fees, and tangible results. 3 Weeks on, we have been able to help hundreds of people who had nothing or very little from any other aid source.

YWAM's national office, now handling most quake the donations, told us they have 60 thank you letters to write today - thank God it's not me doing all that particular work!
And I continue to get emails from places and people I've never heard of enquiring if we are for real because they are concerned about their money getting to help people. Good, it's about time that sort of enquiring donor attitude developed; not exactly suspicious, just being a good steward. It is heartening to be able to give them a report from the last 24hours as to how money is making a difference.

When is a bargain not a bargain?
The team over there bargained down the blanket extortionists from £18 to £11.20 (in the end from a wholesaler- bear in mind that these blankets retailed for just £12 before the quake so even this wholesaler was benefiting from the quake), and this week have been doing the same thing with dried fruit sellers and plastic sheeting.

"You are the real thing"
Last week I said that we were hiring buses not lorries- cheaper and less vulnerable to looting- more on that later- but the bus drivers had their own insights: When it came to load the buses with 400 blankets, the bus drivers did a double take- these were brand new blankets in plastic pouches, and not only that but they were good quality - warm enough to make a difference! It wasn't long before the reason for their amazement came out- they had done a number of other relief trips to the mountains since the quake and in each case, the NGO concerned had given torn clothes and dirty (soiled) blankets. The drivers said that these people got out, gave the villagers big bags of what was later discovered to be rubbish and took pictures of them giving them to villagers. Then they got back on the bus and drove back to their comfortable existence in the cities. The bus drivers said our team was the first one they had seen doing "pukka" relief work (Pukka is an Urdu word!). They have offered to work the following trip for free -we'll only pay diesel.
Their report is shocking isn't it! (is it about as shocking as the initial reports of violence etc from New Orleans?) The deception involved here is amazingly cruel. (NB I am not saying this is representative of what's going on everywhere- it can't be- can it? Nevertheless, some villagers our team met and helped had similar stories)

The team links up with people we know well in the quake area and they in turn recruited a number of other local volunteers. This was vital- in one village the bus was immediately surrounded and the situation started to look threatening until the local volunteers got off the bus and explained that these people were genuine and only have quality goods- they should be respected and honoured. The mood changed instantly- despite it being the middle of a day of fasting, the villagers lit a fire and brewed some of their remaining tea in a celebration of gratitude. (Later, these villagers stories of dirty underwear and torn blankets given by previous benefactors explained their initial hostility).
The genuineness of what we are offering is having an amazing impact on those who encounter it. Like the New Orleans thing, this disaster is showing up some of the unpalatable things that lie under that society.


Press appreciation...
This week another development- while driving hard bargains in the wholesale market for high energy foods (dried fruit and nuts mainly) the press got wind of our workers and started following them around- they have since been invited on the next trip north, (they have declined due to Eid but have called some colleagues in the quake hit area (we hope they will cover our work). So, publicity will again be good for the long term as well as the short term. I could email you the articles- but you'd have to be better at urdu than I am to get it.
... brings more support:
Following that publicity, a large medical distributor company called our people and said they wanted to give 50 quilts, could they be taken up on the next convoy. This shows real public acceptance and appreciation. Wonderful.

Current convoy:
The focus on the current aid convoy has shifted from mainly blankets and plastic sheeting to also include cookers (gas bottle ones and kerosene ones) high energy dried food. There is a limit to how far they can go off the main roads while using buses (they hope to acquire a 4x4 so that they can extend their reach) but the northern has been looking into which areas can be helped with this convoy, so it should reach people and do much good.
In the mean time, our first set of donated medical goods has gone by (free) air freight yesterday.

Again it would be good to pray for their safety and for the relationships that are now growing with the people there.

A gastronomical odessey

Heidelburg theory or whatever it is called. I got it from the TV series called Num3ers. About this maths genius guy who helps his brother, an FBI agent, solve crimes using mathematical formulae. Anyways, this genius guy says that when the watched knows it is being watched, it behaves like it is being watched and in anticipation of what the watcher might do.

It is like now I know WHO actually reads my blog, I tend to censure myself. And since there are some things I would like to share only with some people and not others, I might need to resort to sending mass mails again. Which was what this blog was intended to replace.

--
It started with Ivy calling on Wednesday night about a girls’ night out to Zouk. I had earlier told Cheeks I don’t like clubbing and so declined. Since two persons called for the same Mambo Jumbo, I decided to go. It turned out to be quite fun because 80s music are. Besides, Ivy and gang = 5 girls, and Cheeks and gang= many guys. Who knows, I thought.

Cheeks and gang was surprised that church going, cell-group going girls go clubbing. But two of the girls got sick and they left early. Good thing I only had my usual (NOT vodka with OJ).

It was also so packed you really could not dance without elbowing people. I got stepped on five times. Will wear sneakers next time. (Next time??? I have exceeded my clubbing quota for this year!)

It was drizzling outside Zouk when Cheeks and I arrived at 11:30. He wanted to have dinner first and return his DVDs at Asia Café. There was this humongous crowd outside, made up of mostly under-aged persons I was certain. They weren’t going to let anyone in anymore. Frantic calls from those inside. We decided to wait 20 minutes and checked out the candies. Cheeks got a sweeter deal than I.

We made it in after a while.

Left Zouk about 3am for A&W in PJ. There were six of us, but we somehow managed to order seven set meals, not including mine. I was thinking this is really going to screw up my day (thank goodness it was a holiday!).

The guys decided it would be fun to go to Klang for Bak Kut Teh the next morning, at 7:30 am. I had 3 hours of sleep and wore my sunnies during BKT even thought the sky was overcast.

Cheeks, the Klang champion, got rapped.

Nicole: Do they have mushrooms?
Cheeks: No
Nicole: What? No mushrooms????!!! (There turned out to be mushrooms, one per person)
Sze Wei: Got yow-chow-kuay ar?
Cheeks: No
Sze Wei: Huh??
Eric: Hey man, can we ask for cili padi and garlic?
Cheeks: They don’t have them
Unison: WHAT????
Eric: We should have gone to the one under the bridge!!!

BKT was good in itself. But the crowd was not quite satisfied.

Breakfast Round Two. Ding!

Eric saw a Chinese kopitiam a few doors away. Our search was for yow-chow-kuay and egg tart. They serve cheese cakes instead. We had toast and half boiled eggs (pas moi). Later on, my cousin Lee Hui, another Klang champion, said we really should have tried the famous cheese cakes. Bummer.

Got home and slept. Lee Hui came to pick me up at 3pm to go back to Ipoh for granddad’s birthday meal.

See, dad left ahead of us and called back to say that traffic was not so free-flowing on the highway. The message was passed to me through sis and mom, which became “Dad said the highway is very, very jammed up lar”. The same message was echoed to Lee Hui and so we took the COASTAL ROAD home. It took us 3.5 hours to reach TAPAH!!!!!!

Dad got back to Ipoh in 2.5 hours.

Made it for dinner JIT. The usual full course, or course. Granddad and I share the same love for roasted suckling pig. I am sure the dish could qualify for a Fear Factor challenge. Woosie Mat Sallehs! Dessert was the best. I loved the crispy on the outside soft on the inside lotus paste bun. I had two. So please was I that I even had Red Bean soup.

Friday- finally made it to the gym. Spent some extra long duration to make up for gluttony. And the upcoming meal with Moto.

House of Tea Kings. Delicious food (no MSG), wonderful tea, enjoyable music, and even better company. This deserves a blog on its own.

Got drunk on tea by 12:30 midnight and couldn’t sleep most of the night.

Morning. Breakfast with Yiap Loong who announces that he is leaving for UK the next day! Went to KLCC to get my rollerblades but just my luck that Studio R and Kinokuniya were shut for electrical failure. YL said the Cineplex was smoking the night before. Go figure. No blades. CH came to join us for lunch.

Saw Qiwen and Yangyang in the foodcourt! Qiwen was visiting from Singapore and naturally, every tourist must see the Twin Towers.

YL says I should get that lilac suede bag from Mango that costs just as much as the blades. I got neither. (Still thinking about the lilac suede bag)

Yangyang, his wife, Kelly, Qiwen and another friend took me to a place near Jalan Imbi for Beijing hotpot. Sis was asking why would I take my Chinese friends for Chinese food? I said THEY were taking ME!

Loved the meal…… slurp. Especially that thin-sliced mutton cooked in (VERY) spicy soup and dipped with sesame paste and garlic sauce. Mmm…….

And the Chinese drink like a fish. Every ten minutes it was bottoms-up. I sipped. It was further encouraged by the owner of the restaurant, who joined us. Qiwen says that’s how you make friends in China. I said I would be very lonely. She said that’s how you make deals, too. The more you drink, the bigger the deal. I said I would be very poor in China.

Can’t wait to meet Qiwen again in Singapore later this month. She stays at the East Coast!!!

It is Sunday evening and I am thinking of work, again. That article on software for industrialised building systems was weighing on me the whole time and I should get it done tonight.

I shall reassess my work habits at the end of the year.

p/s I also had a premonition moment while having dinner last night.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Poor Grandma

Every time I speak with grandma, she would ask me how my cousin’s business is doing. I would say the business is doing superbly, there is more demand and she and her boyfriend/business partner could supply to and they are expanding the business and she earns WAY more now that she did in the bank last time.

The last part of the last sentence starting with WAY is of great significance because grandma belongs to the poor dad category. She would always think that I have it better because I have a secured job with a good firm and I earn a steady income.

My grouse is that if I should slog for a business it would make more sense that it should be my own business. Sure the risks are higher but so are the returns. In the end it is your loss or your gain. Working with a firm, neither is yours.

I do not profess to be Marxist. But Karl got it right and he will always be right on one count: You either own the means of production or you are the means of production. In the latter category, you are easily likened to a machine. You rarely benefit from incremental gains of your input beyond your fixed salary. Sometimes there are carrots like commission. But commission changes the equation because it is as if a form of ownership.

Boutique for sizes only 2 and below.

Suckered!

I have a bad habit. Or rather, lacking of a good one to have- money management. And I am not a stubborn person. In fact, I am quite persuadable. In fact, I thought I am an analytical person. But maybe I really am and Analysis backfired. This is just setting the stage for some arguably important decisions.

See, I just renewed my gym membership at Clark Hatch. I was wondering, earlier, if I should continue with my membership since I am not consistent gym go-er. But but but… you see, the promotion says if I purchase a nine month membership for RM1275.75, I get three months free. Which basically means just over RM100 for the every month for the whole of next year!!! PLUS, they upgrade me to Platinum membership (Ooooo…..), which means I get a passport to other Clark Hatch gyms (including the really nice one at Sheraton Subang with a jacuzzi and landscaped views but excluding KL Hilton, which overlooks the city and doesn’t matter to me).

The promotion ends end of October. So of course I bought it!

However, if I continue to go to the gym just twice a month, I would effectively pay over RM50 per session. It would make more sense to just go ad hoc, without membership, and pay RM20 per session. But I would have to drag a member along. I hate to be dependent.

So shall I just credit the RM30 per session premium as the price of independence?

Veqish Spa (pronounced vegish- don’t ask me why) in Taipan, was also having a promotion. If I pay RM288 for membership, I get a Balinese scrub and bath, a re-hydrating facial treatment, a full body massage, and one eye-brow reshaping experience for FREE. Separately, they come up to over RM350. (Although I could do away with the eye-brow thingy and pay less)

On top of that, as a member I get to do some other things with heavy discounts just for Oct and Nov, and for every other thing I get 10% off. Even the pedicure packages. Hmmmm…

So of course I bought it!

Credit goes to all mothers’ advice to daughters: Invest in taking care of yourself.

Right now I am thinking of that rollerblade set in Studio R, going for RM180- it comes with knee pads and elbow pads, too!

Hey, I have always wanted to rollerblade. Credit this to unfulfilled childhood desires.