Mid-year reflections and new miracle stories

I started the year with hope, trepidation and the desire to want to be excited.

I had known I would quit from my job but not what next. London and Europe seemed a natural destination.

The pastoral leadership in TCC had sought God’s wisdom for the year and it was revealed that after two years or so of travails and sowing, this would be a year of harvest, of multiplication and increase. Encouraged by the immensity of it all, I assumed all that for my own life.

For the past 6 months nothing much was clear (except quitting my job). In my Experiencing God study I learnt that many times God reveal His will (His good, pleasing and perfect will) only one step at a time. That, to me, is hard to accept; as one who always zapped past one chapter so I could quickly know that would unfold in the next.

Aileen and Eve were kind enough to remind me what I shared with them; bask in His blessings for the moment, praise and thank Him.

Indeed, I am a privileged child of God.

Two weeks in London I got a call from an old friend and ex-colleague who has moved to Singapore. She is managing the communications department of a large American MNC’s Asia Pacific office, and she would like me to join her on a 6 months’ contract.

I was hesitant because I only just arrived and I had not given London a chance. I had not even seriously looked for a job.

The terms, however, fitted everything I wanted when I quit my previous position. It does not anchor me down with inflexibility and would allow me to work remotely; it would address the damage in my pay scale; and just as importantly, it would be communications on the client-side and not in a consultancy.

It took me many sleepless nights and prayers to say “Yes.”

The reason: I have learnt from experience how God works in my life. At the very same time, my lesson in Experiencing God was asking me to list down spiritual markers in my life- turning points in which I was sure God was present and made a difference.

I now see very clearly that it is when God hands me something, literally placing it on my lap, that things turn out most successfully. Not without difficulties; but I could sense it when I am walking right in the middle of His grace.

Post agreeing to the contract, there were weeks of waiting, and a phone interview with two persons from US offices and more waiting.

Through it all, I struggled with wanting to “grab” and to let go. Elaine, my cell-group member in TCC had said to me that I should not struggle. There is no need. I know all that, especially having spent so much time with God everyday for the past three months. But sometimes there is a disconnect between the mind and the heart.

While waiting I looked into other opportunities in Singapore half-heartedly. By that time, I had decided it made no sense financially to work in London (taxes and cost of living); I was also tired of traveling. I missed the warmth and sunshine of the tropics and most importantly, God did not place my heart in England, much as I still love that place.

There is nothing more I want to do at this point in my life than to be so sensitive to God and be an obedient child.

I didn’t really try very hard at looking for new jobs in Singapore. At the back of my mind and heart there was a sense of “waiting”. I remember the very distinct reasons why I had quit: I don’t want to be stuck with an inflexible job and I had to be movable (don’t as me why because I don’t know. I only know that was the message).

The conspiracy of the universe had it that I had to travel back to Singapore before the end of June or there are no more affordable one-way tickets back until mid-August. Once having made up my mind, I didn’t think there was reason to remain in London for so long.

And so it was that I reached Singapore last night. During dinner, Aileen asked what are my plans. I didn’t have any. It was as if I was in a twilight waiting room; nothing and something is happening at the same time.

After dinner, I checked my email.

I got the job.

I start next week.

Your majesty, I can but bow
I lay my all before you now
In royal robes I don’t deserve
I live to serve your majesty

I wish there is a way to explain AWE. I was awed and amazed at His perfect timing and His amazing grace. And so I had to tell you this story, wordy as it may be.

I started the year asking God for new miracle stories.

I don’t want to be telling last year’s miracles all the time. I want to fill up and infinite number of miracle bottles so that I could be a living testimony. But more selfishly, I crave the constant reality of Jesus.

The last weekend I attended Kensington Temple, the message was about being in the Joshua Generation- claiming the “Promised Land” in victory. The verse was the same as one Pastor Dominic gave in TCC early this year.

Joshua 1:3a “I will give you every place where you set your foot…”

Two days before I was to depart from London another verse crept into my meditation. Moses said to God in Exodus 33:13b: “…If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”

I really should stop doubting if I am indeed hearing from God, huh?

Next week is the start of July; the very month I thought would be a good time to start something again when I was preparing to quit months ago.

July. The start of the next half-year. And I find myself in the place of hope, trepidation and peace.

Thank you Jesus, for your grace.

Your grace, still amazes me
Your love, still a mystery
Each day, I fall on my knees
Your grace, still amazes me

P/S. Please keep me in your prayers as we have not finalised the contract details and there isn't any seal on any envelope yet.

PP/S. In case you are wondering, I don't know what will happen after the six months but I know God will be leading me to something even better :)