A Weir

I thought I'd miss home sorely once I get back to Singapore, this time.

But as soon as the bus turned into HarbourFront, I felt a sense of relief come over me. By the time the taxi reaches Mandarin Gardens, my mood is even lighter; maybe it is the sea breeze.

I entered my apartment. It was empty. I like it that way. I opened the door to my room. It it bright, breezy, welcoming, and I like it very much. Aaaaah...Smiles.

Perhaps I do have a place in Singapore. And I am not running away, as Kuen Yi said I am. I'll tell you about his "three things in life" theory. He brought that up over lunch when I told him about Mori and about what I would discover when I am 40. Kuen Yi says he feels he could impart stuff as Mori could now that HE is also in his 40s. I know of that fact in the back of my mind, but when with Kuen Yi, it is not often something you are aware of because he looks 35 max.

Anyways, I am rather glad to be back in Singapore.

I was feeling too much. Meeting many people, re-building and enriching relationships I must keep as advised by the doctor. It takes a lot from me, doing things like that. Maybe that's not the right description. The right way to put it is: it makes my heart tender. Soppy, I know.

But catching up involves being involved in friends and loved ones' lives and sharing my own. That means exposing myself; exposing my heart. It makes me feel too much. I don't mind feeling. But how do I not feel too much?Is there a way? Like a weir that stops water from flowing once it reaches a certain level?

Coming back to Singapore always has this effect on me; it makes me lighter. Like the strings are cut loose. Back in Malaysia, everything affects me. Conversations, actions, news, everything.

"You let things affect you too much. You let too many things affect you. Can you try not to let that happen?," Kuen Yi asked.

I am not sure.

"It is that part of Nicole Yeong that makes you special. You should not lose that but you need to find moderation."

I texted my mom to let her know I reached home and that I love her. She replied: O K take case.

Mom is still not familiar with predictive texting. It's very funny communicating with her that way.