Fingerprints of Love

MOVING to Singapore. This is good. WAY GOOD. I am not saying I have left Malaysia for good (Kuen Yi would say I am merely running away, Mori would said I would realise I belong to Malaysia when I am 40, etc). But I needed to be away. Moving to Singapore, as I sang “You have been so good” in church, I realise was the “best blessing” this year. I am not saying I hated Malaysia with such passion (someone told me the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference) that leaving it is the best thing that happened. NO. But I now see why God let it happen, made it happen and how His timing is perfect. He is the Conductor of this grand orchestra called space and time.

DEATHS. There were many this year. But I refer in particular to people who were part of me--Ye-ye and Mah-mah. I have never truly known what mourning really is until Ye-ye’s death. Mourning is a slow healing process. Mourning is a remembering process. I still miss them and I still tear when I think of them although it has been almost a year since Ye-ye’s death, and six months since Mah-mah’s. It is good that they are both not here. Mah-mah being without Ye-ye would be like night without stars and I knew for the few months she was alone, she felt like night without stars.

A MIRACLE, a healing. I have always only believed in miracle healing half-heartedly. But I got healed miraculously and I have to praise Him.

BAPTISM. I have been baptised before. That was two days after SPM, on November 12, 1993. I was baptised together with my then best friend, Wai Sang. But it was not a public proclamation and it was done without my parents’ knowing or consent. In DUMC, I made a declaration of my faith in front of hundreds. Among them were my parents.

AN abrupt end to a friendship. I’ve never had a friendship end in a bad way and this is quite hurting; made more so by the unexplained circumstances. It was not easy to praise God for this chapter; one I most quickly want to put behind (and believe I have). I was a happier person before the episode. When something is over and that is the conclusion, there is no point in asking why. I do not know and may never know why it has to happen save that His ways are higher than my ways and that it is not His will for me, but His will be done.

Be it unto me, according to your word
According to your promises I can stand secure
Carve upon my heart the Truth that sets me free
According to your word O Lord, be it unto me

AMEN.