Cute and funny

Cute and funny don't take away pain, but they help.

I went to the neighbourhood clinic for the first time since we moved in here and discovered that Dr Richard Lee is really cute and funny. About the cutest doctor since Dr Brad Davis, the neurologist I worked for part-time at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics.

I kinda wished I didn’t have to go see him for an illness as embarrassing as urinary tract infection. Too bad he is married with kids (pictures all over his clinic) or I might fall ill more often. Just kidding!!

I was the third patient in line and I really couldn’t keep still because I was in great pain and I keep wanting to pee but I also don’t want to pee because it hurts really bad.

Dr: Have you had this before?
Me: Not this bad, not that I can remember.
Dr: Usually, it comes back once you have it and if it is not treated well.
Me: Is it serious? (He had a grave look, ok?)

He asked me if I had loin pains and I was like, what’s that? I have a different sort of pain!

Dr: It happens for a number of reasons. It could be because of dehydration (possibly), holding back your pee (maybe), or sexual intercourse (definitely not).

He looked at me and I looked back at him. Was he expecting me to answer that aloud? But it wasn’t a question.

It turns out my symptoms say it is a “classical” urinary tract infection and it should go away in three to five days.

Me: You mean the pain is going to last three to five days?? (My tolerance for pain approaches zero).
Dr: No, the irritation is caused by inflammation and that should be reduced with the antibiotics. The pain will become less and less.
Me: Can you give me something that will take away the pain quickly?
Dr: Yes… but this is not miracle ok? (Gives me wide eyes and smiles). It will take time to work.
Me: I know.
Dr: This particular medicine will change the Ph of your pee but it will also turn your pee orange. Like really orange. Bright orange. (Wide eyes again).
Me: Ok, orange (I gave him serious, wide eyes back).
Dr: No, really, are you listening? Some people don’t listen and then they panic and rush back here. (Smiles)
Me: Yes, orange!
Dr: Ok, and the blood come with the pee?
Me: I guess.
(Gives me a quizzical look)
Me: Well, it’s not my menses! And it definitely comes with pee.
Dr: But you have to know where it comes from, like the upper, middle or lower…
Me: It definitely comes with my pee! (Do NOT blush!)

I am SO glad he does not have to examine me!!!

Dr: You have to come back in five days for us to test your urine to make sure the infection is all gone.
Me: Ok.
Dr: Are you allergic to anything?
Me: Cats. (Stops short and turns to me with a bemused look)
Dr: What?
Me: Cats! I sneeze nonstop and I tear and I fall sick.
Dr: O-k (scribbles something on my records). You need an MC?
Me: Yes please (I have not slept since 4am when I went to sit on the throne and could not be parted with it).

I am still in pain and will be glad to see Agent Orange.