No end point

I’m a little sad. Maybe more than a little sad.

Maybe that’s why I have been delaying my packing. I’ve just sorted out what work clothes I want to bring and decided to bring just enough for two weeks. Then I thought what if I can’t wash my clothes? What if I can’t iron?

I’m staying with Josie first so it should be FINE!

Then I wonder if my luggage would be too heavy. Maybe I should write a list of things to bring. I should just have a fixed list, photocopy them and just check the list everything I need to travel.

But I am not traveling. Maybe that’s why I am sad.

When I left for the States, I thought I would never come back. I gave everything away. I remember drying the whole bouquet of roses MK gave me for an Inti College prom night. He gave the same bouquet to WS, too, which was really sweet. I gave that bouquet away.

Then I wanted to come back after I graduate.

When I left for London, I knew I had to come back. But I hadn’t wanted to.

It’s only Singapore this time. But it is the first time I can see no end point.

I could come back, I could not come back. For the first time, truly, I ‘could’ a lot of things.

And that’s a little scary.

My cellgroup wrote me farewell notes on a book Edmund said I must read from front to back- because his note was right at the back. I wanted to cry afterwards. I will miss them.

I just met Lawrence and Lay Yee for drinks and I have not seen them since we all graduated in Iowa. They are getting married December 17, a Sunday, because all places for wedding banquets are booked for Saturdays until the end of the year. I am writing it down here so it is written somewhere in case I need to recall the date.

I am so glad I have the friends I have.

I went out for prayers today after service. I was standing in place of CPCH- you know why.

Halfway through worship I realize I will really miss DUMC!!! Definitely Unusual Methodist Church!!!

Elvin and Hwee Mei gave me a really beautiful pen in a sleek case for farewell- and as encouragement to write that book?? I wish I get to see Olivia more. She is about the most beautiful almost two year-old I know, and so loveable. Mei is pregnant with their second child and it’s a girl. They may call her Nicole!!

I should get down with that list…