Chasing Korea (June 14, 2005)

I had wanted to start this email in a very happy tone. I guess I am still happy, but some news from a friend made me quite concern for him.... and I only read his messages today, when he posted it on May 25. I had not been able to log into Yahoo Messenger for sometime....

Two revelations hit me within these two days. One happened during sermon in church yesterday, and the other when I replied my friend's message.

Revelation no 1.

There's this very young pastor in church and he is about the cutest pastor, too. Neeways, he was talking about being professional Christians who go through the motion of being a Christian. I am guilty of that intermittently, often-ly (no such word, but you get what I mean). One thing he said which sat in my head since is that we are given emotions so we could feel God. I have actually asked God why do I feel so much and why did he make me so emotional. I mean, I'm such a cry baby!

I cry when I am happy and I cry when I am sad. I cry when I am angry and I cry when I am scared!!!! (Hey that rhymes and sounds like it could be lyrics to a song)

BUT.. what I really wanted to say is: I could channel more of my God given emotions to feeling him and his love so I could love more in return. I could do with that, because honestly, I have been a really self-centered person lately.

Revelation no 2.

I was quite upset at myself for not reading my friend's messages earlier because he had asked me to pray for him. It made me want to go back in time to reverse things (That means I have to sit for the CFA level 1 again!!! But I would do it for you!!). Then I remembered a very profound question someone once asked me in return to my question for him.

When I was much younger, I was in a church youth camp and in that youth camp, I was talking to a 'radical' deacon. There was something I wished I could change back in time for the sake of people I love and I told him that. He told me to pray, but things had passed! Then he asked me this: "Do you think time can stop God?"

I honestly do believe God created all things, including time. Thus he is not bound by time. And if I say a prayer now for something that happened then, God can still work in ways I cannot see and probably could never understand.

I always think that when I go to heaven, I will have SO MANY questions for God. Most of them would start with "WHY????"

Then again, when I get to heaven, I may just forget about my questions.

Why was I so happy?

Well, I had a superbly good Korean meal. Kimchi and kimchi seafood casserole, seafood pancake, and lots and lots of condiments- picked brinjals, spicy fried anchovies, more kimchi, and I-forgot-what-else. There were food for four but just two of us so we were gluttons. My friend tried calling his brother to come join us but he didn't have transportation. Marginal utility declined quite rapidly but I was still happy.

I have been going all around town (literally) looking for Korean chefs to do a Korean culinary demo for a client's in-house event. Went to the "Korean town" in Ampang (which is to me, a different world) and stepped into EVERY Korean restaurant there. No one could understand what I was talking about ( I will NOT survive in Korea). All I had to do, which I did today, was to step into the Korean restaurant next door to my office plaza to find a Korean proprietor who speaks English. He was very, very kind and with hopes, he would have good news for me tomorrow.

I have also been looking for Korean dancers, Korean dance troupes, etc etc. In my wild goose chase, I've met really kind people here and there, and there is definite truth to "If you don't ask, you would never know". I think I will be wearing a Korean costume also-- my boss volunteered me to be emcee for that client's event. Now, if only I could look at good as those Korean babes on TV.

Another reason I was quite happy-- I have 11 new guppy babies!!!!! Yay!!! I wonder what colour they would turn out to be! Mommy guppy has bluish-greenish tail and all my [three] male guppies have red tails. So exciting. I can sit for hours just watching them. Or fractions of an hour until my bum hurts.

Franco, I got your mail some time back. You were superbly funny and I almost had stitches. Did you purposefully try to outdo me? Will write soon, promise!!!

Korean food + Nicole = happy

good night

---

Rudi's reply:

If you're black or if you're white,
If you're fat or if you're lean,
God loves you;
If you're tall or if you're small,
Or if you're in-between,
God loves you;

He cries when you're happy (ok not sure about this - creative license),
He cries when you're sad,
He cries when you're angry
And even when you're scared;

No matter what you look like,
No matter what you do,
God loves you

:-)

---

Rudi is a darling